tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57451392011-04-21T14:17:07.800-07:00Glazed DonutsTiberius Furioso's Movie Reviews Rated With Glazed DonutsTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comBlogger331100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1131471645394625752005-11-08T09:40:00.000-08:002005-11-08T09:53:14.560-08:00Tiberius went into "Get Rich or Die Tryin'" believing he would learn a little about the man known as 50 Cent. He did. It ain't pretty.Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005) Dir. Jim SheridanCast. Curtis (50 Cent) Jackson - Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje - Bill Duke - Terrence Howard - In TheatersI admit, I don’t know anything about Curtis (50 Cent) Jackson. But I like rap and hip hop, so I went in to this Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1116966319157622972005-05-24T13:12:00.000-07:002005-05-24T15:46:48.623-07:00The world needs another review of “Sith” and “Star Wars” analysis like it needs a hole in the head. Brace yourselves anyway suckas as Tiberius reviews…Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith (2005) Dir. George Lucas.Cast. Ewan McGregor - Hayden Christensen – Natalie Portman – Samuel L. Jackson - Ian McDiarmidIn Theaters" align="right"> Those who grew up with Star Wars must be wary of the Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1116619284404426412005-05-20T12:58:00.000-07:002005-05-20T14:58:53.466-07:00Zzzzzz. Huh? Wha? Oh. Is it over?Okay, it wasn’t fall asleep boring, but it was close. Writer/Producer Luc Busson and Director Louis Leterrier came up with a cool premise for Jet… and blew it! Unleashed (2005) Dir. Louis Leterrier.Cast. Jet Li- Morgan Freeman - Bob Hoskins- Kerry CondonIn Theaters Jet Li is Danny, a simpleminded servant, raised by a ruthless gangster named Bart (Bob Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1100200523602610892004-11-11T11:13:00.000-08:002004-11-11T14:57:49.170-08:00Tiberius Returns! Who cares? Nobody! So what. He returns anyway to review…
National Treasure (2004)
Dir. Jon Turteltaub .
Cast. Nicolas Cage- Harvey Keitel- Sean Bean- Jon Voight
In Theaters
Some movies are so bad they aren’t worth seeing for free, “National Treasure” is one of those movies. I had the opportunity to see it last night… for free, I went. I wish I hadn’t. It’s the kind ofTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1068853345101964532003-11-14T15:42:00.000-08:002003-11-14T15:48:28.996-08:00Tiberius admits it! He wanted to be blown away by the Matrix sequels… and he wasn't! But he likes them anyway!
The Matrix Revolutions (2003)
Dir. The Wachowski Bros.
Cast. Keanu Reeves - Laurence Fishburne - Carrie-Anne Moss - Jada Pinkett Smith
In Theaters
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Eh! Most people I know who were disappointed in "Reloaded" hated "Revolutions". I liked "Reloaded" and thought this Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1068831637417082532003-11-14T09:39:00.000-08:002003-11-14T09:46:55.356-08:00"Unlike me, many of you have accepted the situation of your imprisonment, and will die here like rotten cabbages!"
Patrick McGoohan as No. 6 in "The Prisoner"
The Prisoner (TV series - 1967-68)
Cast. Patrick McGoohan - Leo McKern
Dir. Patrick McGoohan - Various
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A Secret Agent (Patrick McGoohan) resigns with no explanation. As he's packing his bags he's knocked out by a Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1067286409344193672003-10-27T12:19:00.000-08:002003-10-27T12:26:48.656-08:00I did it again. First I call the blog over at Tagline, "Taglines". Then I apologize for misspelling "Tagline" and calling it "Taglines" and then I go and spell it "Tagliners". I don't know what my problem is. I will go and spell the word "Tagline" one hundred times in a row.Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1067275579519023472003-10-27T09:18:00.000-08:002003-10-27T12:19:28.646-08:00 Tiberius thanks the guy at Tagline for his brutal honesty and constructive criticism.
Tiberius has no illusions to the fact that he can't spell and has the grammar skills of an ape, but he means well. It's all about heart and soul baby. Of course using spell check wouldn't hurt would it? I remember a good friend of mine published a zine about blaxploitation flicks. It was good, but everyone Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1067035300386113752003-10-24T15:41:00.000-07:002003-10-24T16:07:54.133-07:00 It's Halloween and time for Tiberius's top ten scariest films of all time. You can disagree, but you will be wrong.
The scariest movies that I know of scared the shit out of me when I was a kid and still do. Many of them creeped me out before I even saw them, movies like, "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "Halloween" and "Alien". I remember at summer camp the counselors talking about "Chainsaw" Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1066940885443190982003-10-23T13:27:00.000-07:002003-10-23T14:26:49.893-07:00Tiberius gets it on with Preston Sturges for the first time and screams for more.
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The first thingI noticed while watching "Sullivans Travels" and "The Palm Beach Story" were the women, their bodies. I don't know if this has anything to do with where I am in my life right now, or maybe it’s a result of not having one, but the women in these Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1066863644406784482003-10-22T16:00:00.000-07:002003-10-22T16:00:44.540-07:00Tiberius sees a mindless, trashy, entertainment at his local theater pub, but can't afford a beer. Not even a Pabst!
Once Upon a Time In Mexico (2003)
Dir. Robert Rodriguez
Cast. Antonio Banderas- Johnny Depp
In Theaters
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Antonio Banderas returns as El Mariache, the guitar wielding man of action who gets caught in the cross fire between a CIA agent (Johnny Depp) and a drug lordTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1066423280694622082003-10-17T13:41:00.000-07:002003-10-17T13:41:20.263-07:00Tiberius rents "The Matrix Reloaded" and for some reason "Hombre" with Paul Newman and has no explanation for it.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
Dir. The Wachowski Brothers
Cast. Keanu Reeves - Laurence Fishburne - Carrie-Anne Moss
DVD Release - Mediocre extras
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Neo, Morpheus and Trinity try to stop the machines and their agents, from infiltrating and destroying Zion, the city Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1066406495675736862003-10-17T09:01:00.000-07:002003-10-17T09:01:35.800-07:00Hombre (1967)
Dir. Martin Ritt
Cast. Paul Newman - Martin Balsam - Richard Boone
VHS
This is the second Western I've watched in the past week that was based on an Elmore Leonard book, the other being "Valdez is Coming". Both films try but fail to create the tough, cinematic expression of their Euro Western counterparts.
A white man raised by Apaches (Paul Newman) finds himself on a stagecoach Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1066172827466569462003-10-14T16:04:00.000-07:002003-11-14T16:11:33.780-08:00All sins are washed clean in Clint Eastwood’s Mystic River
Mystic River (2003)
Dir. Clint Eastwood
Cast. Sean Penn – Kevin Bacon – Tim Robbins
In Theaters
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Director Clint Eastwood does a tricky balancing act combining the literary, artistic ambition of stage theater with the familiar atmosphere of TV melodrama. Three young boys, Jimmy, Sean, and Dave are caught by a policeTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1066070810303096052003-10-13T11:46:00.000-07:002003-10-27T09:01:19.610-08:00This weekend had Tiberius watching a Spaghetti Western wannabe on VHS, the 2003 anniversary release of Scarface and Terry Gilliam's journey into La Mancha
Scarface (1983)
Dir. Brian DePalma
Cast. Al Pacino - Steven Bauer - Michelle Pfeiffer
DVD - 2003 Anniversary Release - Decent extras, Deleted scenes, Interviews,
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Is Scarface a movie so bad it's good, or is it really a justTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1066070688755196322003-10-13T11:44:00.000-07:002003-10-13T11:49:09.916-07:00Lost in La Mancha (2003)
Dir. Keith Fulton - Louis Pepe
Cast. Terry Gilliam - Johnny Depp
DVD
If you have a friend that has dreams of being a filmmaker and you want to discourage them from trying, you could recommend that they watch "American Movie" and if that ain't available have them watch "Lost in La Mancha".
Next to "Bowling for Columbine", "Lost in La Mancha" was one of the most highly Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1066070630614893812003-10-13T11:43:00.000-07:002003-10-13T11:49:44.823-07:00Valdez Is Coming (1971)
Dir. Edwin Sherin
Cast. Burt Lancaster
VHS
I could have watched this on DVD but the DVD at Hollywood video, as I've mentioned many times before, is 3.99 and the VHS version of this video is 1.99. You do the math.
"Valdez is Coming" didn't start out half bad, but by the end of the flick I was screaming, "What?" and "Come on!" and "You've got to be kidding!". "Valdez is Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1065838838000201122003-10-10T19:20:00.000-07:002003-10-10T19:21:36.790-07:00 You know how they say that the book is better than the movie? Well in the case of "Kill Bill" it's the script that’s better than the movie. But Tiberius still enjoys himself for the most part.
Kill Bill - Volume 1. (2003)
Dir. Quentin Tarantino
Cast. Uma Thurman - David Carradine
In Theaters.
When I read the script for "Kill Bill" I came away with this thought: "It won't be Tarantino's best Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1065715682485953392003-10-09T09:08:00.000-07:002003-10-10T13:29:07.546-07:00 The library notifies Tiberius that he can come pick up and take home the bloated and gluttonous, epic extravaganza that is…
El Cid (1961)
Dir. Anthony Mann
Cast. Charlton Heston - Sophia Loren
VHS
Hmmm? Back in 1993 Martin Scorsese went on a crusade to have El Cid remastered and rereleased in its original 70mm format. He got his wish. I don't know why he went through the trouble though, the Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1065462113121137662003-10-06T10:41:00.000-07:002003-10-08T10:31:01.900-07:00Even though he didn't have a coupon, Tiberius went to the dreaded Hollywood Video and rented….
Confessions of A Dangerous Mind (2003)
Dir. George Clooney
Cast. Sam Rockwell - Drew Barrymore - George Clooney - Julia Roberts
DVD - Good Extras - Sam Rockwell screen tests - Deleted scenes
Those who don't know who Chuck Barris is might be a little confused as to why they should give a shit about Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1065138188784960992003-10-02T16:42:00.000-07:002003-10-03T07:51:10.506-07:00 The Library saves Tiberius's ass again with…
The Bicycle Thief(1949)
Dir. Vittorio De Sica
Cast. Lamberto Maggiorani - Enzo Staiola
DVD
I've heard a lot about this one over the years but have never gotten around to watching it. Every film class in the world has this movie on its list of movies to watch and it has consistently shown up on many "All Time Best" lists. And yet it seems, along withTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1064965463985542302003-09-30T16:43:00.000-07:002003-10-08T10:32:07.416-07:00 Sam Peckinpah's Cinema of Confession
Sam Peckinpah was a low down, lying, cheating, manipulative, violent, alcoholic, drug addict, paranoid, hypocritical, misogynistic, manic depressive bastard with the charm of a demon. But he made good movies! By the time he had made "Ride The High Country" in 1961 the Western was all but dead. But Peckinpah breathed new life into the genre by bringing a Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1064940686785509252003-09-30T09:50:00.000-07:002003-10-02T09:31:30.070-07:00 Tiberius enjoys himself for once at a sneak preview, the Jack Black vehicle "School of Rock!"
School of Rock (2003)
Dir. Richard Linklater
Cast. Jack Black - Joan Cusack
Dewey Finn is a thirty something lay-about who insists that his destiny is to be a rock star. The problem is, he's in his thirties and his only survival skill is his ability to mooch off his best friend. His world begins to Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1064858307425300902003-09-29T10:55:00.000-07:002003-10-02T09:30:55.430-07:00The King is Dead! Long live the King!
A friend of Tiberius's took his broke ass to the movies this weekend.
Bubba Ho-Tep (2002)
Dir. Don Coscarelli
Cast. Bruce Campbell - Ozzie Davis
Tennets of an old folks home are being killed by a mysterious and evil presence. Unfortunately for this cursed Egyptian mummy, entity-thing, it decided to infiltrate the retirement home that houses the King of Rock nTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1064855133076905662003-09-29T10:04:00.000-07:002003-09-29T10:13:39.083-07:00 Elia Kazan (R.I.P.)
Tiberius Furioso loves many of Kazan's flicks. Although, after watching the PBS documentary, "Miller, Kazan, and the Blacklast: None Without Sin", I won't be able to watch "On The Waterfront" in the same way anymore. The dude ripped off an original screenplay by Miller called "The Hook" and the movie ended up being a personal validation of his turncoat mentality with the Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1064008856717297402003-09-19T15:00:00.000-07:002003-10-06T12:46:38.836-07:00 Neither one of these flicks was worth the $3.99 that Hollywood Video charged Tiberius to rent them, but with a two for one coupon I ain't complaining.
Read My Lips (2001)
Dir. Jacques Audiard
Cast. Emmanuelle Devos - Vincent Cassel
This romantic thriller starts out interestingly enough, but eventually gets bogged down in its own Hitchcockian ambitions.
Carla, (Emmanuelle Devos) a desperatelyTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1063813367656372142003-09-17T08:42:00.000-07:002003-09-18T16:28:53.976-07:00What Tiberius recently rented from the video store.
Why would Tiberius rent these two flicks when he could get them for free from the library? Because Hollywood Video finally gave Tiberius a two for one coupon!
In The Heat of The Night (1967)
Dir. Norman Jewison
Cast. Sidney Poitier - Rod Steiger - Warren Oats
DVD
Although it hasn't aged well, "In The Heat of The Night" remains an entertaining Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1063647501222206692003-09-15T10:38:00.000-07:002003-10-07T16:35:50.606-07:00
Tiberius Furioso's film barbs about the latest films, videos and DVD's he's seen, from the theater, the video store, on TV, bought, stolen, borrowed or checked out from the library.
Movies Tiberius checked out recently from the library.
The Avengers is a strange TV show, and that's what makes it so great. Its schizophrenic evolution can be observed on DVD from its introduction in black and Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1063227177483255902003-09-10T13:52:00.000-07:002003-09-15T10:39:43.183-07:00 The Big Buchinski! Charles Bronson died last week. It took me a while to put my thoughts together on this one.
Charles Bronson (RIP - 1921 - 2003)
When I was a boy growing up in the 70's my dad would often take me to the movies, movies he probably shouldn't have taken me to. They were exploitation flicks with plenty of sex, violence, nudity and gore. Movies like "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry", "Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1063126230971790062003-09-09T09:50:00.000-07:002003-09-09T09:54:56.080-07:00
Tiberius Furioso's film barbs about the latest films, videos and DVD's he's seen, from the theater, the video store, on TV, bought, stolen, borrowed or checked out from the library.
Tiberius had the opportunity last night to tag along with his film critic friend and see a movie preview. Unfortunately it wasn't a good one. Why would Tiberius go see a movie when he knows it's going to suck? Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1063035602752808932003-09-08T08:40:00.000-07:002003-09-08T15:30:24.803-07:00
Tiberius Furioso's film barbs about the latest films, videos and DVD's he's seen, from the theater, the video store, on TV, bought, stolen, borrowed or checked out from the library.
Movies Tiberius checked out recently from the library. Because free is a good price.
Live From Baghdad (2003)
(2003)
Dir. Mick Jackson
Cast. Michael Keaton – Helen Bonham Carter
DVD
Ebert & Roeper give this HBO Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1062797762597614402003-09-05T14:36:00.000-07:002003-09-05T15:15:55.210-07:00
Tiberius Furioso's film barbs about the latest films, videos and DVD's he's seen, from the theater, the video store, on TV, bought, stolen, borrowed or checked out from the library.
Classic Spaghetti Western restoration and extra footage! Back at your local art house theater! Go see it!
The Good The Bad And The Ugly (1966)
Dir. Sergio Leone
I've been lucky enough to have a friend who happens Tiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5745139.post-1062717479534425392003-09-04T16:17:00.000-07:002003-09-05T17:27:26.920-07:00Welcome to the first posting of Glazed Donuts!
Tiberius Furioso's film barbs about the latest films, videos and DVD's he's seen, from the theater, the video store, on TV, bought, stolen, borrowed or checked out from the library.
Well what do you know?
Hollywood Video has finally given Tiberius a freaking coupon! Rent one get one free. I'm a cheap bastard so I know a bunch of cheap bastards whenTiberiushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12488400323952452474noreply@blogger.com